Productivity

Showing posts with label Productivity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Productivity. Show all posts

Sunday, February 18, 2018

You Make Or Break Your Life Between 5-7 AM



While serving a humanitarian and ecclesiastical mission at the age of 20, I learned potentially the most important lesson of my life.
How you spend your morning determines your success in life.
How you spend your morning determines who you will become.
How you spend your morning determines whether you become world-class at something, or remain merely average.
How you spend your morning is the difference between making tens of millions of dollars and making less than 100 grand.
How you spend your morning determines how well you:
  • think
  • strategize
  • prioritize
  • spend your time
  • choose your friends
  • choose your lover
  • choose your career
  • perform in your work
  • influence the world
I didn’t understand how important my morning was at the beginning of my mission. But it quickly became very apparent.
As a missionary, the first several hours of the day are dedicated to getting ready, studying, and planning.
After a few months in “the mission field,” I noticed that most missionaries dragged themselves out of bed, and dragged themselves through their studies.
My experience was different. For the first time in my life, I experienced the power of learning. I felt the nourishment of feeding my mind and soul. To quote Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.:
“A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.”
I started waking up earlier than prescribed to read more and more. Rather than reading one hour each morning as recommended, I was reading three or four.
Within six months, it became apparent that my thinking and teaching abilities were accelerating at rocket speed. I began to stand out as a missionary.
The following quote by Jeffrey Holland became crystal clear to me:
“I frequently say to missionaries in the field, ‘You make or break your mission every morning of your life. You tell me how those morning hours go until you are on the street in your mission, whatever time it is; you tell me how those hours go, and I will tell you how your day will go, I will tell you how your month will go, I will tell you how your year will go and how your mission and your life will go.’”

You Make Or Break Your Life Between 5 and 7 AM

“Lose an hour in the morning, and you will spend all day looking for it.” — Richard Whately
If you lose an hour in your morning, you’ll spend your whole day looking for it.
If you spend your day looking for the most important time you’ve lost, you’ll be spending your whole life on a lower-level path than you could have had.
If you don’t prioritize and maximize your morning hours, you’ll always be left wondering what your life could have been.
You’ll never know what you could have had.
You’ll never watch yourself accelerate and advance at rates that are possible, but seem impossible.
You’ll always settle for less in your choices, relationships, eating, environment, income, and life.

Given the fact that most people reading this article operate on a 9–5ish schedule, the hours before 9AM are significant.
Moreover, many people reading this article have kids and other responsibilities that are immediately pressing upon them, usually around 7AM.
If you start your day at 7AM, you’ve already lost the most important hours of your day. You’ve already lost your chance to radically separate yourself — intellectually, emotionally, spiritually — from the masses.
When you upgrade yourself intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually, you’re enabled to see the world from a more elevated plane. You’re empowered to deal with the difficult and challenging emotions required for growth and evolution. You quickly learn how to work with people, solve problems, and create an amazing lifestyle where you’re making great money.

What Do You Do Between 5 and 7 AM?

If you could give yourself two hours, every morning, solely dedicated to learning, thinking, planning, meditating, praying, and writing in your journal, your life would change.
These are the best things you could do with your morning time.
How a person spends the hours of 5 to 7 AM are a pretty clear indicator of how successful they’ll be. Is this always the case? Of course not. Are there certain circumstances, such as people who work night shifts, when these exact hours don’t apply? Sure.
But for most people, the hours of 5 to 7AM make or break their entire life.
How do you spend the hours of 5 to 7?
Do you spend half of that time sleeping?
Do you sleep the entire duration?
Do you spend that time working out?

How you start something is very important. Prevention is far better than rehabilitation. Starting right is much easier than correcting course.
Consequently, how you start your day is extremely important. It is indeed possible to correct your course mid-way through the day, but let’s be honest, it doesn’t often happen. Momentum — good or bad — is hard to reverse.
Waking up at 5AM isn’t enough, then, if you wake up at that time and you start yourself down a non-optimal path.
First things should come first.
Some things are good, other things are better, and other things are best.
Given that your morning hours are your most important, you shouldn’t dedicate those golden hours to activities which are merely “good.” As Jim Collins has said, “Good is the enemy of great.” Similarly, Dallin Oaks has said, “We should be careful not to exhaust our available time on things that are merely good and leave little time for that which is better or best.”
Every person has 24 hours per day.
However, what each person does with those 24 hours determines who they become and what they do.
How you spend your 24 hours is the difference between making tens of millions of dollars and living paycheck to paycheck.
How you spend your 24 hours is the difference between being happy and being miserable.
There are endless choices you could make. Endless activities you could engage in. Endless people you could surround yourself with. Endless goals you could pursue.
John Maxwell has written, “You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything.”
Most choices are bad choices.
Most activities are unimportant.
There are a lot of things which are “good.” But those activities should NOT come first thing in the morning.
Research confirms the brain, specifically the prefrontal cortex, is most active and readily creative immediately following sleep. Your mind is clearest in the morning. Your energy is highest.
A lot of people wake up first thing and head to the gym. This is certainly a good activity — it will wake you up and get you moving.
But fitness is not the most optimal thing you could do in the morning. Research confirms that you workout better with food in your system. Your workouts will be far more productive and powerful if you do them in the late morning or early afternoon, as opposed to first thing in the morning. Lunch-break work out.
If you’ve already accomplished more in your morning than most people do in a month, you’ll be SO PUMPED to workout. You’ll push yourself so much harder. You’ll feel so much more fulfilled. You’ll feel so good it will feel like beating the system — which is actually what you’re doing when you live on your own terms.
Your workout should be a mental break — a way to break up your day. The physical and mental can push each other upward. Once you workout, you give your mind a rest and allow your subconscious to synthesize and organize all the work you’ve done throughout your morning.
Indeed, stepping away after several hours of hard thinking is where you’ll get your best insights. Don’t waste those epic insights by working out first thing in the morning! Instead, workout during the afternoon and get even more insights WHILE YOU’RE working out as a byproduct of the thinking and mental work you’ve done that morning.
Another benefit of working out later in the day is that it does energize you — and thus you can add a couple extra hours of good mental energy that you won’t get if you exercise first thing in the morning.

So What Should You Do First Thing In The Morning?

“If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you want to quickly set yourself apart in life, you should make it your first priority to read lots of really good books. If you spend 1–2 hours per morning reading, you’d read 50–100 books per year. Do this for 5–10 years, and as they say, you’ll become an “overnight success.”
In our incredible age of information and technology, it’s never been easier to access information. Of course, it’s also never been more distracting.
There are many REALLY REALLY good books. There are also MILLIONS of books that aren’t that great.
The quality of books you read matters. To quote Ryan Holiday, “If you read what everyone else reads, you’ll think like everyone else thinks.”
Some books are classics for a reason.
Some books have shaped culture for a reason.
Some books are continually recommended by people who have achieved wealth and success for a reason.
And when you start really reading, you’ll be guided by the books themselves. The right books will pop-up and stir your heart. You’ll intuitively know — I need to read that book, which will then lead you to the next book and the next.
You’ll begin making important connections that other people haven’t made.
You’ll be able to shape culture yourself.
You’ll be able to make influential change — first in your own life, then in your family, then in your circle of friends, then in your work and community, and eventually, you’ll be able to influence and shape the whole world.
Reading isn’t enough though.
You need to spend plenty of time thinking, meditating, praying if so inclined, and writing in your journal.
Rather than just reading for 1–2 hours straight, it’s good to shift between reading, thinking, and writing down your insights. Listening to audiobooks makes this process even easier.
While either listening or reading, it’s good to allow spaces of time to really think about what you’re learning, and to measure what you’re learning against your current worldview, priorities, and goals.
Hopefully, if you’re open to learning, you’ll allow what you’re reading to alter and enhance your current mental model. You’ll allow your learning to hone and improve your current priorities, goals, choices, and daily behaviors.
Thus, while you’re learning, it’s good to ponder and think about the goals you’re currently pursuing. Writing your goals down in the morning, and emotionally visualizing their completion is powerful. It’s awe-inspiring and humbling to read old journal entries and realize that many of your former goals have since been attained and accomplished.
While listening to or reading powerful information — your mind will be primed to get lots of really good ideas. Especially if you’ve developed skills in meditation, thinking, and prayer.
While listening/reading, you’ll get lots of REALLY GOOD ideas about how you can better accomplish your goals. Ideas will come to your mind about how you can better help the people in your network accomplish their goals.
You’ll want to immediately act on these ideas. The longer you hesitate, the more likely you will be to forget about your key insight. The longer you wait, the less power your idea will have.
When a brilliant idea sparks, start writing. Don’t just put it on the back-burner. Follow the idea and see where it takes you.
It’s usually the idea after the idea that really matters. But most people take their ideas for granted, or they just continue their reading.
No.
When you get a core insight, pause and reflect. Pull out your journal and begin connecting that idea with your most pressing goals and priorities and relationships. Quickly, another connection will be made. A deeper insight will present itself. Eventually, you’ll stumble upon something very practical. Something you’ll need to act on immediately.
That “something” may be a conversation you need to have. It may be an article you need to write that morning. It may be something you can do for someone to dramatically move the needle.
You need THAT insight. The one that leads to immediate action and makes immediate impact on what you’re trying to do.
This is how you make quantum leaps, day-by-day, in your progression. When you’re getting powerful insights that improve how you live, your life changes. That’s why learning every day is so important.
If you read good books every morning, visualize and strategize your goals, and write your insights in your journal, you’ll have an amazing life.
You’ll become a highly creative person.
You’ll be a brilliant decision maker and strategist.
You’ll become financially successful.
You’ll learn from your mistakes, and not continue the same unhealthy patterns.
You’ll elevate yourself while most people continue small lives of regret.
What do you do between the hours of 5–7AM?

Join The 5AM Club!

If you haven’t yet joined the 5AM club, you don’t know what you’re missing. It’s the equivalent of me telling you how good a certain chocolate cake is. You can only really know if you taste the cake yourself.
You won’t know how motivating, clarifying, and empowering it is until you experience it yourself. Your identity and personality are shaped by your behavior. Change your choices, change your life.
Will waking up early sometimes suck?
Absolutely.
But if it doesn’t suck, it’s not worth doing. Robert Greene explains in his book, Mastery, that you can learn to love this internal resistance. In his words, “You find a kind of perverse pleasure in moving past the pain this might bring.”
And if you immediately put yourself in a different environment- the fog and tiredness will go away within 5 minutes.
Drink a huge cup of water and go somewhere you can be alone. Throw your shoes on. Wake yourself up and deal with the few moments of pain in order to unlock a life most people could never imagine.
Source

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Becoming, Attracting And Creating, According to Buddha


Buddha needs no introduction. He’s the main figure of one of the most practiced religion in the world. Everyone has at least heard of him.
But I’m going to say that right away: this is NOT a post about religion. I do not pretend to understand buddhism, or any other religion for that matter.
I simply believe that inspiration can be found anywhere, wether it’s your environment, your friends, your family, your experiences, your beliefs, etc. It doesn’t matter. There are good lessons to learn from everywhere.


“What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create.” — Buddha


What you think, you become

What do you think of yourself?
Do you act according to this belief?
How did you get there?
Work backwards in your thinking. Start from where you are now, and rewind a year. Did you become what you thought?
I’m quite different from what I was 6 months ago. I had good ideas of what I wanted to become. At least on a broad scale.
I have become it, and a little more.
BUT!
Thinking without action doesn’t make you become. Neither does acting without thinking.
Most of us want to be more than what we currently are. Yet we do nothing to make it happen.
Plan your days, at least one day in advance (Think). Be precise with time. Execute consistently (Do).
Before you know it, you’ll have become the things you have been thinking and doing.

What you feel, you attract

We are SO emotionally influenced by our surroundings.
Everyone is happy at a party.
Everyone is sad at a funeral.
If you’re negative, you’ll attract negativity. If you’re positive, you’ll attract positivity.
I’m a positive guy. Especially outwardly. The truth is, I fake it sometimes. And it’s a hack I propose to you.
When something negative happens to you, force yourself to think positively, however hard that may be. Your brain will need convincing. Act it out long enough and you’ll convince it.
Here’s a quote I really like from Conor McGregor:
“At the end of the day, you’ve gotta feel some way. So why not feel unbeatable? Why not feel untouchable?” — Conor McGregor
When I feel unstoppable, people around me catch my vibe.
I un-intentionally started a fitness group at the co-working space I worked from. I just wanted to be more fit, so I thought, and acted. I started doing push-ups.
People laughed. People judged. People got curious. People joined.
I started a movement, simply because I felt I was unstoppable at fitness.

What you imagine, you create

Reflexion is an incredibly powerful tool to motivate you to act and create whatever it is you want to create.
In our busy day-to-day routine, we rarely take the time to reflect. Reflect on ourselves, reflect on our day, reflect on our environment, reflect on our future.
We don’t take the time to let our imagination run wild through reflexion, or deep thinking.
Lately, I’ve picked up Meditation and Journaling as some of the 3 skills I learn every month.
My mind has never been so clear. With the fog gone, I am free to imagine anything.
By doing this consciously, I can write all my ideas that pass by. Good or bad. Sometimes, from bad ideas stem great ideas. It’s a process.
Let your imagination run wild. There are no boundaries. No impossible.
If you let yourself think something is impossible, it will be.
If you let yourself imagine the path to success, you will create that path.

Conclusion

Become: Thinking without action doesn’t make you become. Neither does acting without thinking.
Attract: If you’re negative, you’ll attract negativity. If you’re positive, you’ll attract positivity.
Create: If you let yourself think something is impossible, it will be.
Think and Become. Feel and Attract. Imagine and Create.


Tuesday, February 6, 2018

How to Write Compelling Articles That Get Read and Shared


Photo by Burst


5 steps I’ve followed to craft trending Medium articles

Recently, I was talking to a friend who was feeling disappointed with her blog posts. She’d publish a post, and all she’d hear were crickets. Even after promoting her posts, hardly anyone was commenting or sharing her articles.
Most of us writers know what that feels like.
When I began my blog a few years ago, I set out to write blog posts that would inspire and help fellow writers. But after spending days crafting a post, I would only receive a handful of comments.
Many of those comments were positive, though, and they encouraged me to keep going. Still, I felt a little discouraged. I wanted my posts to reach more readers.
After a while, it occurred to me that maybe the problem wasn’t with my content but with the way I was presenting it. So I decided to study the rules of copywriting and read every article I could get my hands on about how to write powerful blog posts.
As I started implementing what I was learning, my posts began receiving more and more comments and shares (one even went viral on StumbleUpon). I republished my posts on Medium, and many have become trending articles in numerous publications. And my email list grew from 200 to over 2,000 subscribers in just a year.
In this post, I’m boiling down into five steps everything I’ve learned about writing articles for the web.
Please note: This isn’t a guide to writing viral posts. Rather, this is a guide to writing compelling articles that will resonate with your readers and add value to their lives.

1. Craft a Strong Headline

Imagine you’re browsing through the newly released books at a bookstore. You don’t have enough time to stop to look at every single book. Most likely, you’ll only pick up a book if it has an intriguing title and cover design.
The same is true of blog posts. People’s social media feeds are flooded with a constant stream of articles and online content. In order to make yours stand out, you have to have an attention-grabbing headline: something that offers value to the reader in exchange for their time.
David Ogilvy, known as The Father of Advertising, is said to have stated,
“The headlines that work best are those that promise the reader a benefit.”
A benefit could be anything from entertaining someone to teaching someone to inspiring someone to helping someone solve a problem.
Take for example my top three posts from 2016:
Each of these headlines states a clear benefit to the reader.
As you write your blog post headlines, keep the 4 U’s of headline writing in mind:
  1. Unique
  2. Ultra-specific
  3. Urgent
  4. Useful
Usually, you won’t be able to cover all four of those U’s, but if you include at least one or two you should be able to come up with a strong headline. List posts perform well because they are ultra-specific, and how-to posts do well because they are useful.
You can run your titles through the Coschedule Headline Analyzer to see if there are ways to tweak them to make them more powerful.

Bonus Tip: Once you’ve come up with your headline, you should also choose a lead photo for your post that illustrates your headline in some way. This is the photo that will appear when your post is shared on social media (or in your readers’ Medium feeds) so make sure it is eye-catching.
Unsplash is a fantastic website where you can find beautiful, royalty free photos to use.
If you’re posting on Medium, I also recommend including a subtitle.

2. Open with an Irresistible Introduction

You’ve caught your reader’s attention with your headline, but does your post deliver what it promised?
The first paragraph of your blog post should draw your readers in and make them want to read more. This is where you lay out what they can expect in the rest of the blog post.
There are three elements of a powerful introduction:
  1. The Hook
  2. The Transition Section
  3. The Thesis Statement
This is the same formula I used when writing introductions to college essays, and it is very effective for blog posts too.
In the hook, you grab your reader’s attention with a memorable story or fact or question. Usually, in the hook, I set up a problem that is facing the reader. Often I like to address the reader directly with a question. For example, “Does it ever feel like there just aren’t enough hours in the day for everything that you want to accomplish?”
Next, I’ll transition into a story about a famous person or even a story about myself. In this transition section, I’ll dig a little deeper into the detrimental effects of the problem. Then, I’ll explain that I have found a way to solve the problem.
Finally, I present the thesis statement: a one-sentence summary of the post and how I will be helping the reader solve their problem. For example, “In today’s post, I’m looking at five different ways we can carve out time for writing even when it seems like there are no more hours left in our schedules.”
My examples are from a how-to post, but you can adapt this formula to any type of post that you are writing.

3. Follow the Story Structure of the Hero’s Journey

Stories add another dimension to our writing. This fascinating Infographic shows how the human brain is hardwired to respond to storytelling differently than other forms of writing.
You can use stories to illustrate your main points, and you can also use the elements of storytelling to structure your entire post.
When I write my posts, I follow the outline of the hero’s journey, a term coined by American scholar Joseph Campbell to describe one of the most common storylines in literature. Think of the plot of Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, or The Odyssey.
Here’s the basic outline:
  • A hero is called to go on an adventure to solve some kind of problem. (Every good story has some kind of conflict driving the plot forward.)
  • She may be reluctant to accept the call but eventually realizes that if she doesn’t solve the problem, her life will spiral out of control.
  • A mentor helps her prepare for the adventure.
  • After facing a series of challenges, the story reaches its climax. Will the hero overcome the problem or not?
  • The hero emerges victorious and returns home transformed.
How can you use this storyline to write your blog post?
Use the body of your post to take your readers on a journey. Your hero is your blog reader. You are the mentor. Share the steps you took to overcome a problem that the reader is facing. Then show the reader how they will be transformed once they implement those steps.
My post below shares eight more tips for writing powerful stories that will connect with your readers:

4. Make Your Post Easy to Read

Even if you write a wonderfully compelling or incredibly helpful post, people might still not stay around to read. Most people glance over a post quickly to see how long it is. Others are wary of click bait, not wanting to invest their time in something that won’t benefit them.
Here are three steps you can take to make your post more convincing to read:

1. Break your post up into short sections with subheadings

The subheadings give your reader an outline to follow, and the short sections make a long post much easier to digest.
However, you want to make sure that the subheading doesn’t give too much away or people won’t bother reading each section. Notice how each of my subheadings in this post are short teasers to what follows in the paragraph.

2. Use short paragraphs and sentences

Long blocks of text are intimidating to read, especially if you are reading on a mobile device. I try to write paragraphs that are no more than three to four sentences long.

3. Evaluate your post’s readability

I use Grammarly to catch any typos or grammar errors I might have made. And then I evaluate my post against a readability score.
A readability score tells you roughly what level of education someone would need in order to read your piece of text easily. It will help you write with a more conversational style. I try to write my posts as if I were talking to you in person over a cup of coffee in a café. Would you like another latte?
You can use this website to measure your text readability. Or if you have a self-hosted WordPress website, I recommend downloading the Yoast SEO plugin. It will help you optimize your content for the web and has a built-in readability analyzer.
Here are several more tips from Kurt Vonnegut on how to improve your writing:

5. End With a Call to Action

You’ve taken your readers on an incredible adventure. Now what should they do with that information they’ve just learned?
I usually title the conclusion of my blog post “The Takeaway”. It’s where you can emphasize the most important lessons of your post.
Next, give your readers a clear call to action to follow. Maybe you tell them to implement the steps they’ve read about in your post (stress the dangers if they do not take action).
Finally, you have a chance to build a relationship with your readers.
I like to end with a question and encourage readers to answer it in the comments. You could also create an additional resource to accompany your post that readers can download by signing up for your email list. (You can embed an email subscription form in your Medium post using Upscribe.)
And don’t forget to ask readers to share your post on social media if they enjoyed it. At the bottom of my Medium posts, I ask readers to click the heart if they found the article helpful.

The Takeaway (and a free checklist!)

No matter what kind of article you are writing (a how-to, a listicle, a personal narrative, a book review), you can use these steps to make your article more powerful and engaging. Adapt them to your style and your topic.
Ultimately, you want to keep your readers in mind. How will your post add value to their lives? Is there any way that you can dig deeper and add a unique perspective to your topic?
When you implement these five steps, you will transform your posts into content that will truly impact your readers. They will be eager to share and read more of your work.

Monday, February 5, 2018

3 Difficult Habits That Get Easier Over Time



How many “positive habits” articles do you need to read before you start taking action?

Here’s the thing about forming positive habits: It is difficult.

The things we know we should do, we don’t — and the reason we don’t is because they are challenging.
They are not easy. They make us tired, or insist that we (gasp!) “think.”

We don’t do them because, in some sense, we fear that they will be as difficult as they feel now, forever.

But the thing is (and anyone who has ever pushed themselves knows this), difficult things get easier the more you do them.
Even the really hard habits, the ones that constantly feel strenuous, in some sense get easier with time. And the reason is because you not only become more skilled in that area, but you also become more patient with yourself throughout the process.

Here are 3 essential habits everyone knows they should do, but tend not to.

And here’s exactly how you can get through the “difficult” phase and make them part of your daily routine.

1. Reading

If you’re reading this right now, you are (in some sense) on the right track.
One of my favorite things to ask people is, “What was the last good book you read?” Most people are shocked, and I know the answer before they even say it: “Wow, I can’t remember the last book I read.”
Sure, we read blogs, and tweets, and long-winded Facebook posts — but reading a book is different. Reading a book takes time, and patience, and especially when dealing with fiction versus nonfiction, both categories work different parts of your brain.
Reading is essential.
I strive to read a book every other week. Two weeks is more than enough time to get through a roughly 300-page book.
The best way I have found to create a habit of reading is to have it take the place of your smart phone and “filler time” social media usage.
Whether that means reading on your iPhone or keeping a book in your backpack or purse, every time you have a few free minutes, open your book. When you’re waiting in line at the grocery store, open your book. When you are on the train, open your book. Anywhere and everywhere you would otherwise compulsively check your e-mail and Facebook notifications (the majority of which are not important), open your book.
You’ll be amazed how quickly you move through material, and how much more stimulated your mind feels throughout the day. And, most important, reading will no longer feel like a chore. It will simply become a way to pass the time.
A smarter escape, if you will.

2. Waking up early

This is the king of “habits I really should do, it’s just that my bed is so comfortable.”
If you’re not a morning person, waking up early is horrible. It is not easy. It feels grueling, and you’re fighting yourself all the way to the shower — and then once the hot water hits your head, you practically fall right back asleep then and there.
When most people try to instill this habit into their lives, they think it’s all about “waking up early.”
It’s actually about something else.

It’s about going to bed earlier.

Sleep is the constant.
There are only two variables you can change: You either go to bed earlier, or you wake up later.

If you want to create a successful early morning routine for yourself, it’s much more about mastering the evening routine that comes before it.

Slow yourself down an hour before bed.
Read a book (see above) instead of browsing Instagram, so your eyes can relax. Meditate, or take a warm shower. Do activities that are intended to move you into sleep, so that you can wake up ready to go the next morning.
Where people tend to go wrong is they set their alarm for 5:30 a.m., but still go to bed at midnight. That’s a disaster waiting to happen. And then of course, 5:30 rolls around, you’re exhausted, you call yourself a failure, etc.
Focus on the night before — and stick with it. Nobody forms a habit after three days. It takes a bit. But once you do it for two or three weeks, it becomes your “normal,” and suddenly waking up early isn’t so difficult anymore.
It’s just “what you do.”

3. Forgiveness

Had to throw a curve ball in here.
Forgiveness. Compassion. Understanding. Patience. The act of listening and taking time to see life through someone else’s eyes: For many, this is not easy.
What few seem to realize is that forgiveness and humble traits of the sort are not inherent. They don’t just “happen.” You have to practice them — no different than how you have to practice firing pucks at a hockey net to improve your wrist shot.

To be forgiving or compassionate, in a way, is a habit.

As soon as you start to think of it as something that you can consciously practice, your approach to it inherently changes.
Suddenly, moments when you are frustrated or upset become opportunities to react differently.
I have witnessed many people in my life make the proclamation that they are going to “turn things around” or “be better listeners” and then fail to keep their word for longer than a day, or an afternoon, or even an hour.
And the reason is simple: Habits don’t change overnight.
Your personality, the way you react to situations, and the energy you bring to the moment is the way it is because that’s what you practice. Every day, in everything you do, that’s what you practice — so if you want to change that, you have to practice something different.
But should you stick with it, and continue challenging yourself to step back, reflect, and react differently the next time, the easier it ultimately becomes — until eventually, it is simply “who you are.”

Saturday, February 3, 2018

Resilience Is Not About Bouncing Back. It’s About Moving Forward.



When we speak about resilience, we often think of “bouncing back.” This implies rebounding to how things were prior to experiencing adversity. This definition may be fine for minor challenges, but it’s unproductive for more serious ones.
First off, it sets a pretty high expectation. If you don’t meet it, you’re likely to be disappointed. Sometimes you physically can’t bounce back, like in the case of chronic illness or the death of a loved one. If you lose a limb — literally or metaphorically — you won’t ever be the same as before. Trying will only leave you down and dejected.
It’s highly distressing to carry with you fear, pain, and uncertainty. But it’s even more distressing trying to repress or forget those feelings.
Second off, bouncing back is limiting. It says that there is a “back” to which we should bounce; some ideal, perhaps more comfortable, place. But this fails to acknowledge the significance of the adversity itself. It’s as if you are trying to delete it from your life. In my own experience, this doesn’t work. Yes, it’s highly distressing to carry with you fear, pain, and uncertainty. But it’s even more distressing trying to repress or forget those feelings when they’ve been seared into you by situations that are unforgettable.
Following true adversity — I’m talking about the gut-wrenching, hole in your heart, sleepless nights kind — there is no bouncing back. There’s only moving forward.
And, though it sucks at times, you’ve got no choice but to carry your experience with you. This won’t make you an immediately happier person, but it will make you a fuller and more compassionate one.
And yet…and yet…
Holding fear, pain, and uncertainty is hard. So it’s important to dispel yet another falsehood about resilience. Resilience is about inner strength, but it’s not about keeping a stoic profile and going at it alone. Inner strength and seeking support are not exclusive; if anything, they go hand-in-hand.
Following true adversity — I’m talking about the gut-wrenching, hole in your heart, sleepless nights kind — there is no bouncing back. There’s only moving forward.
Being vulnerable and reaching out for help when you need it demands inner-strength, and inner strength grows when it’s supported by help. “It is a myth that resilient people don’t need help,” writes Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist at the University of Virginia. “Seeking support is what resilient people do.”
In the aftermath of adversity don’t try to bounce back. Do your best to move forward. And let others help you along the way.

Monday, January 29, 2018

Make Life Easier on Yourself by Accepting “Good Enough.” Don’t Pursue Perfection, Pursue Progress



Photo by danny howe on Unsplash
Becky Beaupre Gillespie once said, “Good enough is the new perfect.”
Stop chasing perfection.
Perfection suggests a state of flawlessness, without any defects.
To be perfect implies a condition where your action or performance attains a level of excellence that cannot be exceeded.
Voltaire once observed, “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” In other words, instead of pushing yourself to an impossible “perfect,” and therefore getting nowhere, accept “good.”
Millions of people are obsessed with perfection.
This obsession makes it difficult to make a decision without wasting too much time analyzing every detail.
Seth Godin explains:
Perfect is the ideal defense mechanism, the work of Pressfield’s Resistance, the lizard brain giving you an out.
Perfect lets you stall, ask more questions, do more reviews, dumb it down, safe it up and generally avoid doing anything that might fail (or anything important).
You’re not in the perfect business. Stop pretending that’s what the world wants from you.
Truly perfect is becoming friendly with your imperfections on the way to doing something remarkable.
Perfection is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough, that we should keep try again, and again and again without getting to done.
In The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, Brené Brown says, “Perfectionism is not the same thing has striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgement, and shame. It’s a shield. It’s a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from flight.”
Perfection is a moving target. It’s an illusion.

Done is better than perfect

The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists.
It rewards people who get things done.
Give yourself time in your life to wonder what’s possible and to make even the slightest moves in that direction.
You will screw up in the process of getting anything worthwhile done, but it’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up for making a mistake or making a wrong choice.
It will only lead to self-destructive behavior.
It’s okay to screw up as long as you are willing to try again.
Non- conformists and originals screw up a lot. But they move on, knowing that at some point, the breakthrough will happen.
Elizabeth Gilbert writes in Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, “No matter how many hours you spend attempting to render something flawless, somebody will always be able to find fault with it. (There are people out there who still consider Beethoven’s symphonies a little bit too, you know, loud.) At some point, you really just have to finish your work and release it as is — if only so that you can go on to make other things with a glad and determined heart. Which is the entire point. Or should be.”
No matter how many mistakes you make, or how slow you progress, embracing good enough, and sharing your work is still better than everyone else who is waiting for flawless art.

Free yourself from the fear of mistakes

When you follow your own true north you create new opportunities, have different experiences and create a different life.
Don’t let the fear of making mistakes be greater than the excitement of getting things done and shipping.
Screwing up does not mean you will never, ever be successful. Trying and failing is better than doing nothing.
Making a mistake will not irreparably damage your credibility or reputation.
Remember, being completely terrible at something is the first step to being pretty darm good at it.
Heidi Grant Halvorson (Social psychologist at Columbia’s Motivation Science Center, speaker, contributor for HBR, Fast Company, Forbes, 99u and author of No One Understands You and What to do About it, recommendations the following steps to shifting your mindset, and freeing yourself from the fear of mistakes:
Step 1: Begin a new project by explicitly acknowledging what is difficult and unfamiliar, and accepting that you will need some time to really get a handle on it. You may make some mistakes, and that’s ok. That’s how ability works — it develops. (Repeat this to yourself as often as needed.)
Step 2: Reach out to others when you run into trouble. Too often, we hide our mistakes, rather than sharing them with those who could give us guidance. Mistakes don’t make you look foolish — but acting like you are a born expert on everything certainly, will.
Step 3: Try not to compare your own performance to other people’s (I know this is hard, but try.) Instead, compare your performance today to your performance last week, last month, or last year. You may make mistakes, you may not be perfect, but are you improving? That’s the only question that matters.

Don’t wait until your work is perfect

You can’t help it. It’s one of the biggest reasons most people can’t ship or launch anything meaningful…yet.
Creative professionals put so much pressure on themselves to create something that is 100% perfect.
But guess what, perfectionism is unreachable. Don’t wait until it’s perfect.
You may be doing it wrong, but at least you’re doing it.
And once you’re doing it, you have a chance to make it better.
Waiting for perfect means not starting at all.
Release and show your work when it’s good enough to be shared. You can always adapt, grow, and adjust along the way.
Progress is better than waiting for a perfect day to ship.
Don’t hold yourself back by telling yourself it’s not ready yet when you know it’s good enough to share and iterate.
You’ll learn more by doing than planning.
Creativity flourishes when you don’t seek perfection.
Focus on getting stuff done. Just do. Start. Move, make, create, ship, do.
“There was a moment when I changed from an amateur to a professional. I assumed the burden of a profession, which is to write even when you don’t want to, don’t much like what you’re writing, and aren’t writing particularly well”, says Agatha Christie.
Just start. What you do matters, not what you think or plan.

Stop telling yourself your work is not good enough

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” — Henry Ford
Fear sucks.
It can range from mild to maddening to career-killing.
Most people can’t show their most amazing work to the rest of us because they fear criticism. They feel inadequate.
They are scared people will think it’s not good enough.
Others are living in their comfort zones because of fear.
You don’t act because you are afraid of too many things that could go wrong.
Don’t be afraid of the unknown, because everything is unknown.
Keep doing what you love, even if no one buys it, sponsors it or shares it. It matters that you show up and create.
You’ll suck at most things in the beginning. It takes time, persistence, and patience to create your most amazing work.
Every magic happens outside your safe zone.
Pursuing creative work comes with some level of discomfort.
That shouldn’t put you off.
And it shouldn’t take away your creative expression either.
The fear of failure never goes away. It can prevent you from putting yourself and your work out there.
Use fear to your advantage.

Ship and don’t look back

When you ship, momentum happens. You evolve.
Your creative processes gets better.
If you aspire to be a great writer, just start writing.
You can’t be an amazing artist if you don’t enjoy the intense process of sharing your work with the rest of us.
So if you don’t like writing, trying to become a famous writer might not be the best career choice.
Author Kurt Vonnegut says, “Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow.”
It’s so easy to focus on the results — the revenue and the outcomes of success.
It’s easy to sit around and read inspirational stories but that won’t prepare you for the career you want.
But the real world rewards those who ship. Those get work done. And not those who are perfect.
Start something you deeply care about and don’t look back. Don’t stop because it’s not perfect. Don’t stall because it’s not good enough to ship.
Shipping is the antidote to uncertainty, and fear of failure.
Paul Jun, author of Connect The Dots: Strategies and Meditations on Self-education encourages us to ship, and learn in the process.
He writes, “Shipped projects are essentially a reflection of how your skills and mind are evolving. Each project is a step up from the last. Your first project, say, is a level one — not so great. But as long as that project ships, as long as you learn from it and poured your heart into it, your next project can’t help but be better.”
You don’t need to be perfect to be successful, so don’t stress yourself, perfectionism often leads to micro-managing, procrastination, low productivity, depression, stress and anxiety.
Sometimes being a perfectionist can even prevent you from achieving your goals, so try to avoid obsessing over every little detail and focus on the bigger picture instead.
Pursuing progress allows you to celebrate each step that feels like an accomplishment, leading you to stack achievements as you grow.

Saturday, January 27, 2018

8 Definitive, Scientific, and Time-Tested Methods to Live Longer and Healthier



Over the past few years, there has been an ever-increasing obsession with biohacking and life extension: FDA-approved studies to see if metformin, a drug historically used to treat Type 2 diabetes, can slow aging. A supplement called Basis, which purports to extend life and is backed by multiple Nobel Prize–winning scientists. Transfusing the blood of younger individuals into older ones. Plus a whole manner of other hacks, such as dumping loads of butter into your coffee and wearing headbands that allegedly improve brain function.
Although these approaches are intriguing and arguably worth studying further (at least some of them), too many people seem to have forgotten that there already exists a scientifically proven method — one supported by decades of peer-reviewed research — to extend both the quantity and quality of your life: adopting a few healthy, quotidian habits.
“We’ve known since the mid-1960s that lifestyle behaviors have an outsize influence on health and longevity,” says Michael Joyner, a researcher and expert on health and human performance at the Mayo Clinic. Since then, evidence to support the positive impact of healthy living has mounted, he says, even as more people try to find the elixir of youth. Consider research published in 2011 in the American Journal of Public Health demonstrating that adopting healthy lifestyle behaviors — regular exercise, a wholesome diet, no smoking — can increase lifespan by 11 years. Or a 2016 study published in the British Medical Journalthat found a healthy lifestyle reduces one’s chance of all-cause mortality by a whopping 61 percent.
The great irony is that “the idea behind a lot of these moon-shot fountain of youth drugs, supplements, and gadgets is to replicate the already proven biological and physiological effects of a few key behaviors,” says Joyner.
Aubrey de Grey, a pioneer in the anti-aging movement and chief science officer at the SENS Research Foundation, a Silicon Valley–based longevity institute, recently told the New Yorker that by doing things like optimizing his mitochondrial mutation, “I can drink as much as I like, and it has no effect. I don’t even need to exercise, I’m so well optimized.” Perhaps. But in the meantime, there’s an easier, proven method to life extension.

#1. Move

If exercise could be bottled up and sold as a drug, it would be a billion-dollar business. Decades of studies show that just 30 minutes of moderate to intense daily physical activity lowers your risk for physiological diseases (like heart disease and cancer), as well as psychological ones (like anxiety and Alzheimer’s). According to Joyner, many of the newfangled longevity elixirs aim to prevent mitochondrial dysfunction, or the breakdown of a cell’s ability to properly use energy, which is a normal part of aging. “But people who exercise can double the number of mitochondria in their skeletal muscle and improve its function throughout the body,” he says. “This is why exercise has such a potent anti-aging effect.”

#2. Eat Real Foods

Avoid stuff that comes wrapped in plastic. “Foods that undergo ultra-processing tend to see much of their nutritional bounty stripped from them,” says Yoni Freedhoff, an Ottawa-based obesity doctor and author of The Diet Fix. Another reason to avoid processed foods is related to energy density, or calories per gram of food. “Generally speaking, ultra-processed foods are much higher in energy density than foods made from fresh, whole ingredients,” says Freedhoff, “which isn’t great for maintaining a healthy weight.”
Freedhoff’s ideal diet for health and longevity? “One that is rich in whole foods that in turn are especially filling. You can keep calories at bay while maximizing nutrition,” he says. “This means a diet rich in vegetables, whole grains, fish, and leaner meats with regular but not excessive consumption of fruits, nuts, and healthy oils.”

#3. Call Your Friends

A mounting body of evidence is revealing that hanging out with friends and family doesn’t just make you feel good in the moment — it’s also good for long-term health. Social connections are associated with reduced levels of the stress hormone cortisol, improved sleep quality, reduced risk of heart disease and stroke, slowed cognitive decline, lessened systemic inflammation, and improved immune function.
In a 2010 study published in PLOS Medicine, researchers from Brigham Young University followed more than 300,000 people for an average of 7.5 years. They found that the mortality risks associated with loneliness exceeded those associated with obesity and physical inactivity and were similar to those associated with smoking.

#4. Avoid (Nearly) All Supplements

Americans spend more than $30 billion every year on dietary supplements, yet the vast majority don’t work and may even cause harm. A 2016 article published in the Journal of the American Medical Association cited more than 20 years of research and concluded that “studies evaluating dietary supplements have yielded predominantly disappointing results about the potential health benefits, whereas evidence of harm has continued to accumulate.”
Though supplements are often pristinely packaged in alluring promises, Freedhoff says that “it’s smart to have a policy of ‘just say no.’ There simply aren’t any supplements with sufficient evidence behind them to support their use in a person who doesn’t have a particular proven deficiency or need.”

#5. Sleep 8 Hours (at Night)

Regardless of what the biohackers may tell you, you simply cannot nap or intermittently sleep your way to optimal health and functioning. It’s only after you’ve been sleeping for at least an hour that anabolic hormones like testosterone and human growth hormone — both of which are critical to health and physical function — are released. What’s more, a 2007 study published in the journal Sleep showed that with each additional 90-minute cycle of deep sleep, you receive even more of these hormones. In other words, there are increasing marginal benefits to sleep, and hours seven through nine — the hours most people don’t get — are actually the most powerful.
Deep sleep is also beneficial to mental health. Researchers from Harvard found that it’s only during deep sleep when your brain combs through, consolidates, and stores all the information you came across during the day. “There’s a reason all the bodybuilders and super-intellectual people I know are obsessed with sleep,” says Joyner. “Sleep works wonders.”

#6. Enjoy Nature

In Cheryl Strayed’s bestselling memoir, Wild, her mom tells her that the cure for much of what ails her is to “put [herself] in the way of beauty.” Turns out she was right, at least according to the latest science. Time in nature is an antidote to the ill effects of stress, prevents and in some cases even helps cure anxiety and depression, and enhances creativity. Though the exact causal mechanisms are not yet known, researchers speculate there is something unique about nature — perhaps related to the fact that we evolved to be in it — that puts both our bodies and minds at ease, promoting physical and psychological restoration and subsequent functioning.

#7. Don’t Smoke

Smoking is associated with dozens of types of cancer, as well as heart disease, dementia, and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. According to the American Cancer Association, smoking causes one out of every five deaths in the United States, killing more people than alcohol, car accidents, HIV, guns, and illegal drugs combined. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, your body literally starts repairing the damage caused by smoking within days of stopping.

#8. Don’t Drink Too Much

Like smoking, excessive alcohol use is associated with a number of chronic diseases, such as liver cirrhosis, throat cancer, and cardiovascular disease. Drinking too much also impairs sleep and daily function. The good news is that if you enjoy alcohol, drinking reasonably — one drink per day for women and up to two for men — carries minimal risk. “Moderation is key,” says Joyner.