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Winter has been good to my poems, with one little baby out in the world in Stirring, and another out in SWWIM, and two out in Street Light Press. But aside from the fact that all these journals begin with the letter “S,” is some other similarity playing a quiet tune here?
When
I get a piece published somewhere, I read the entire issue of the
journal. Inevitably, I’ll come across a poet whose work sings to my
existing tastes or whose work surprises me. (Check out Carolee’s poem in Stirring, for example!)
This, in turn, will often push me to read more work by those poets, in
other journals, which, in turn, gives me ideas for new places to send my
work.
Submitting
work to journals and contests and publishers (lions and tigers and
bears) is one big pain in the ass. First, you have to locate journals
that are a good match for your work. My go-to spot for that is Trish
Hopkinson’s blog, A Selfish Poet.
Then
come the tasks like record-keeping and filling out online forms, not to
mention opening yourself up to rejections. If you’re like me, and you
get lots of rejections, you need to know about lots of journals.
What makes submitting easier? Two things come to mind: a system and some sisters.
For most people, it’s the equivalent of being lost.
You can be very busy, and yet do nothing substantial.
In
my experience, that is the reality for most people who are
self-employed. They work super hard, but their work isn’t directed into a
direction that has the potential of ever getting them anywhere.
Most of my adult life has been like that.
I got excited about something, and I put all my heart and mind into that.
For a while.
I worked very hard on getting as much stuff done as possible with whatever little resources I had other than my own time.
I got myself engulfed in tactics.
Doing. Executing. Working my ass off.
The result? I had done a lot of stuff, but I wasn’t any step closer towards my real goals.
Instead of a good product, I had a nice-looking website.
Instead of real customer understanding, I had a social media account with x followers.
Instead of profitability, I had spent my money on some nice-looking business cards.
… and then the next “exciting” opportunity came along
What was the result of this? New website, new social media accounts, new business-cards.
Yes, I know. I was stupid.
But I really don’t think that this behavior is so uncommon in the start-up/freelance world.
Most
‘entrepreneurs’ simply don’t know what they are doing. They are without
plan. Without accountability. Without any business-sense.
They
are either professionals in a particular field, or they basically have
nothing tangible except for their own youth and enthusiasm. Regardless
of which of these two it is, they have zero experience in building a
real business.
You know, one of these things that actually get money flowing in.
A business with a real, actionable business-plan. Not a fluffy, cute little thing that exists only in somebody’s dreams.
Do you even know what you are selling?
Do you even have a clear plan how to make money?
Do you even know who needs that stuff you are selling?
Do you even know how much money you need to cover your expenses, and whether or not a big-enough market exists for that?
If
we’re honest to ourselves, most ‘entrepreneurs’ can not even answer the
most basic questions around their ‘business’ or whatever that thing is
they are hoping to build.
The
day has come. You have finally decided to take that step. You are now
officially un-empoye… ehh, self-employed. Congratulations! You now have
what you always dreamed of.
Finally,
you can decide whatever you want to do. You can decide when you want to
work and when you want to take a break. You can decide how much money
you want to pay yourself.
You stare at your computer.
“Now what?”, you think to yourself.
Well,
I could… start by building a website! Yes, that way I can clarify in my
head what exactly it is I am trying to sell. And, anyways, don’t all
the experts say that as an entrepreneur I should always be willing to
learn new skills?
So you start working on the website and oops!… before you know it, one week has passed.
Congratulations. You have now spent a week’s worth of time and $100 on building that website.
Now, what are you gonna do with that?
Hmm, okay. So now I have a website. So maybe I could… try to bring on some people who are interested in my product?
(which product, by the way?)
The
problem is that very few people who are ‘self-employed’ are actually
capable of directing their attention on the most central issues that are
actually involved in building a business.
Their
mind is simply jumping back and forth between different things that
could be done, without any clear plan and sense of direction.
With
all the new things that are constantly coming up, in this way it is
easy to get caught up in a never-ending spiral of busyness without
purpose.
Going through years of struggle
A business-sense.
Self-control.
Accountability.
Market knowledge.
Dealing with uncertainty.
Making a clear plan and sticking with it.
These, and many more characteristics, are essential to have for successful entrepreneurs.
Unfortunately,
none of them can be developed in short periods of time. They are all a
result of years and years of making mistakes, learning from them, and
re-applying these lessons learned in new situations.
As a result, the large majority of first-time entrepreneurs or freelancers are most likely going to fail.
What does this mean in reality?
Yes,
that’s right. Years of struggle. Years of living without a decent
income. Years of being scared about whether or not you’re going to be
able to pay the bills next month.
Please, live with the reality:
Being self-employed is really fucking hard.
It
is definitely not what the media are promising us. All this stuff about
being in control of your own life. Having the freedom to make your
decisions. Being able to work from wherever you want.
In
the beginning, and for quite a long time to come, being self-employed
means not being able to think about anything else but your work.
It
means spending almost all of your time on your business, often without
making any money at all. It means being anxious all the time, without
any clear idea of whether or not you are ever going to succeed. It means
devoting all your life to a dream, which may or may never come true.
Are you really one of the few?
According
to the global entrepreneurship monitor, 27 million Americans are
currently either starting- or running a business. This makes up for
about 14 percent of the working population.
70% of all business ventures fail.
Finally,
this means that there are about 8 million Americans are actually going
to be able to live from their entrepreneurial venture on the long run.
Not
only is this less than 2% of the total population, but many of them are
also going to run their business in a way that is hardly better than
survival from a financial perspective.
But please, don’t get me wrong here.
It may sound as if I am trying to discourage you from becoming an entrepreneur. That is not the case at all.
Society
definitely needs people who are producing rather than consuming,
creating job opportunities for others, and push the development of
humanity forward with their inventions.
But
what I really want is for you to be aware of the consequences what it
means for your life if you are deciding to walk that route.
Gary Vaynerchuk
has often said that if you have ever been able to stand working on a
job as an employee for longer than a year or so, then you are most
probably not going to make it as an entrepreneur.
Entrepreneurs
are people who can’t stand living their life in any other way. People
who can’t stand working for others. People who love the dirt of working
hard and pushing through all odds. People who embrace the pain, instead
of running away from it. People who thrive in uncertainty and are pushed
forward by it. People who are willing to sacrifice everything in order
to make their dream come true.
Before you make that decision to become self-employed, please do yourself a favor and think through all these issues carefully.
Are
you really willing to sacrifice almost everything for your dream of
being your own boss? And, if yes, do you have the patience to commit to
years of eating dirt before you see any results?
If
your answer is no, then please be honest with yourself and don’t commit
yourself to something that will only make you unhappy. The world needs
you the way you are, not the way that the world is glorified by the
media.
If your answer is yes, then please build something awesome. And hey, don’t starve in the process.
While addressing students of final year engineering, I asked them a question. My question was:
“You
are driving a minibus. At first stop, 20 passengers get on the minibus.
At next stop, 8 people get off the minibus and 10 people get on the
minibus. What is the age of the driver?”
Some
of the answers were — about 50, about 40, do not know as the age is not
given in the question, like this, I received many wrong answers and
then I repeated the question again and after that I received the right
answer and that was their respective age.
One of my teachers asked once the following question:
If a black man marries a white lady and produces a baby, what will be the color of his teeth?
Everybody answered, of course, baby will have white teeth and teacher answered all of you are wrong as baby will not have any teeth at the time of birth.
Once one of the trainers asked a class following question:
Munna
worked at a fish shop. His height was 5’6”, his waist was 36”. He
worked 10 hours a day and earned 100 Rs per day. What did he weigh?
Everybody
started calculating Munna’s weight by doing arithmetic and establishing
relation between given digits. Then one person got up and said, “He weighed fish”. Ah! All students sighed. The question was not what his weight was; it was what he weighed!
While teaching the students of B.Tech 3rd year, I asked the question:-
A
farmer has five stacks of wheat in one field and 11 stacks of wheat in
another field. How many wheat stacks would he have if he combined them
all into one field?
All students answered, “It will be definitely 16”. I answered, “All of you are wrong. The correct answer is one stack as these had been combined”.
Above questions and answers bring out the importance of active listening
which is a structured way of listening and responding to others. It
focuses attention on the speaker. Suspending your likes & dislikes
are important to focus on the speaker. Active listening involves the
following:
Observe — non-verbal behavior
Focus — Do not do anything else
Acknowledge — Acknowledge the message
Acronym of LISTEN is given as under:-
L — Look interested
I — Involve totally
S — Stay focused
T — Test your understanding
E — Evaluate the message
N — Neutralize your feelings
Every good conversation starts with good listening. It is pertinent to quote Stephen R Covey,
“Most people do not listen
With intent to understand,
They listen with intent to reply”
Hearing vs. listening:-
Listening and hearing are not the same. Listening is a conscious, active process with the mind. The Hearing is with senses.
Listening = Hearing + Focusing on message + Comprehending and Interpreting + Analyzing & Evaluating
We are given two ears but only one mouth because listening is twice as difficult as talking.
Active listening was given utmost importance in ancient India. Thew Vedas used to be called as “Shruti”.
Vedas
were never printed as disciples learn by listening and chanting the
sutras of the same. Intense active listening was practiced by all in day
to day life in ancient India.
In
Mahabharat, there is an interesting story of Abhimanyu. While he was in
his mother’s womb, Arjuna explained the process of entering in the
“Chakarvuh” (Labyrinth) to Subhadra (Abhimanyu’s mother). The listening
was so intense and active that Abhimanyu while in womb had also learnt
the same but unfortunately when he was explaining the process of
breaking the labyrinth (Chakarvyuh), Subhadra was not awake and that had
resulted very costly to Pandavas as Abhimanyu easily entered the
Chakarvyuh formed by Kauravas but as he was not knowing how to break it
and move out of it, he was killed. The story brings out the importance
of active listening.
There
is another story from Mahabharat itself which also brings out the
importance of active listening. Krishna wanted that Dronacharya who was
fighting a ferocious battle should be killed and therefore he requested
Yudhisthir to announce “Ashwasthama hato naro va kunjro” i.e.,
Ashwasthama had been killed whether human being or elephant.
Dronacharya heard the news of the death of his dearest son and stopped
fighting and that is the time Dhristdhumn killed Dronacharya. This was
the turning point of battle of Mahabharat.
In
Vietnam War, the American army was fighting a fierce battle for
capturing a post. It was a battle where they fought tooth and nail to
capture the dominating piece of ground. They were fighting last man last
round battle. They requested for reinforcement on Radio Telephony — “Send reinforcement on an Op-immediate basis”. But the person who received the message interpreted it wrongly as “Send five dollar six cents on an op-immediate basis” and reinforcement was not dispatched and American lost the operation and posts too.
Above stories gives the lesson, “Success of an operation depends on good listening capability”.
Somebody has rightly said;
“Speak in such a way
That other love to listen to you
Listen in such a way
That other love to speak to you”
10 steps of listening:
· Focus on being interested
· Start by asking questions
· Look for commonalities
· Tune in with all your attention
· Communicate you are listening with a nod
· Paraphrase what speaker says
· Validate the speaker’s emotions
· Maintain eye contact
· Let go of your own agenda
· Turn off the TV
Six Distinct Components of Listening:-
Hearing — Process of receiving sound or other stimuli
Attending — Focusing attention on external stimuli
Interpreting — The process of decoding the symbols or behavior attended to
Evaluating — The process of deciding the value of the info to receiver
Remembering — The process of placing the appropriate information into the short term or long term storage
Responding — The process of giving feedback to the source and/or another receiver
There is a difference between truly listening and waiting for your turn to talk. It is pertinent to quote Dean Jackson, “Listening is an art that requires attention over talents, spirit over ego, others over self”.
