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The soul doesn’t gain power over experience; it gains power through experience.
I recently wrote
about the importance of having a firm “why” — a sense of
purpose — behind what you do. Here, I’d like to offer a few additional
thoughts on what connects meaningful activities across an entire life:
wisdom.
David Whyte, writing in his book, The Heart Aroused,
says that wisdom is “the only desire that is not fleeting.” In other
words, if we set out to gain wisdom, to become wise, we’ll stand the
best chance of being rooted throughout our lives, regardless of what
life throws at us.
Whyte goes on to write that unlike personality, which aims to gain power over experience, wisdom lives in the soul, which gains power through experience. Cultivating wisdom, then, means being open to experience. This requires humility (i.e., I don’t have it all figured out) and presence (i.e., I am here now).
Wisdom
doesn’t deal with planning or strategizing or setting goals; it deals
with an attitude of growth and acceptance. This is not easy stuff. It
means not deluding ourselves with rose-tinted glasses, not avoiding
distressing situations, and not distracting ourselves from unsettling
thoughts and emotions. It means making ourselves vulnerable.
Unlike personality, which aims to gain power over experience, wisdom lives in the soul, which gains power through experience.
What do we gain from this? Eric Greitens, writing in his book Resilience,
draws upon the ancient Greek concept of “Phronesis” to define wisdom:
“The ability to figure out what to do while at the same time knowing
what is worth doing.”
Krista Tippett, in her book Becoming Wise,
writes that wisdom “leavens intelligence, ennobles consciousness, and
advances evolution itself…giving us the capacity to hold power and
tenderness in a surprising and creative interplay.”
Wisdom doesn’t deal with planning or strategizing or setting goals; it deals with an attitude of growth and acceptance.
However
much you might want it, wisdom is not something that you go out and
get. It’s something that you must be open to receiving.
It’s often the experiences that you haven’t planned
or desired that yield the most wisdom. You may not even know your
gaining wisdom as you go through these experiences, and even if you did
know that you were gaining wisdom, it wouldn’t make dealing with
whatever you’re going through any easier. That’s OK. When you’re going
through hardship your sole focus should be on getting through. But know
that there’s good on the other side.
The
flip side is equally true. If you’re thriving and experiencing great
fulfillment and joy, don’t take it for granted or rush on it from it. Be
there for it. Reflect on what makes it feel so great and how you can
create more of it and share it.
Move through life with humility and presence and all situations — good or bad — become opportunities to become wise.
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