4 Reasons to Solve Your Life Problems on Paper
Originally published by Stephen Guise on his personal website.
The main, overarching reason? The paper is outside of your mind. This creates several advantages.
1. Paper can hold unlimited data
If
I give you a sheet of paper containing 300 numbers, how much of the
sequence can you memorize in 30 seconds? Most people will max out at
probably 10–30 numbers. But the humble piece of paper “memorizes” all
300 the instant they’re written. Unlike your mind, you have no data
limit for your pencil.
2. Complex problems are easier to solve on paper
I
was a math wiz. I used to hate it when my teacher told me to show my
work. But as impressed as I was with myself, it’s easier, more reliable,
and equally correct to work out problems on paper. Some math and life
problems are too complicated to solve in your head.
3. You can’t hide from the truth when it’s looking at you
The
mind is easily distracted, especially when faced with an uncomfortable
problem. Most problems we face in life are not urgent ones. They’re
things like feeling lonely, not finding your work fulfilling, and
wanting to lose 30 pounds. None of these problems will ruin your life
today, they will slowly eat away at your soul over the course of many
years.
Problems
often resemble a weak poison. You know something’s not quite right, but
in time, you can get used to the feeling of being “off.” It’s only when
you address and solve your problem that you feel the massive difference
of say, getting healthier.
If
you put your problem to paper–it doesn’t have to be public–it will be
there for a long time. This is significantly different than a thought,
which can come and go in mere seconds.
When
you think, “I should find a church that suits me,” and have the same
unproductive and passive thoughts about it for the 33rd time this year,
it’s exactly 32 times more than necessary. It’s also not solving your
problem. Paper solves these wasted “duplicate thoughts,” and makes it
easier to see what actions you can take to move forward.
4. It’s much easier to focus
I
have spent double digit hours looking at screens before, whether they
are computer screens or TV screens (video games). I don’t know if I’ve
ever sat down on my bed and thought about something for even two hours
straight. The mind wanders when the eyes see things in the physical
environment, and even if not, the mind wanders on its own with no
physical focal point.
It’s
remarkable how much easier it is to focus on something in the physical
world. It’s just the way our bodies are wired. So you can have the same
problem, one on paper and one in your head, with the former being
dramatically easier to focus on solving.
Paper = Written Word
Paper
has some serious upsides! Of course, when I say paper, I really just
mean the written word. You can write things down on a computer or cell
phone, too. In fact, physical paper writing is usually a bad choice for
me, given that I type so much faster on a keyboard.
Some
people use journaling to directly or indirectly deal with life. This is
a great practice because it will essentially bring your issues into the
physical realm. That sounds bad, like you’re giving life to a
monster, but it’s actually good because the single greatest attack
against life problems is exposure. The problems that linger are those
that remain in silence, safely away from any of those pesky solutions.
Aside
from a journal or in addition to one, I’d consider some kind of
challenge notebook in which you work out some of your struggles on paper
and then come up with suitable challenges to overcome them. To start,
just spill out your thoughts onto paper, and you’ll eventually find the
root.
Solve It On Paper Example: “I Feel Lonely Sometimes”
Why
am I lonely when I have so much to offer? I don’t see any difference
between me and the people who are happily married with lots of friends. I
make people laugh all the time, people seem to like me, and women
respond positively to me and flirt when I actually talk to them (instead
of my other move of trying to get to know them by occasionally glancing
at them). Hmm… I suppose one difference between me and those with
robust social networks is that their lifestyle, workplace, and
personality naturally brought them relationships, whereas my
lifestyle/career is naturally very isolated and my personality is
sometimes (though not always) reserved.
I’ve
definitely seen a difference while traveling. I find a lot more friends
and romantic interests while traveling compared to home life. I’m
significantly more outgoing when I travel. It seems then, that in order
for me to obtain the sort of social life I desire, I need to adjust
either my lifestyle/environment, my outgoingness, or both. There’s no
evidence that I’m unlovable, and there’s a lot of evidence that good
things happen when I put myself out there. So, the solution could be as
simple as joining more groups that interest me, traveling, practicing
being more outgoing, or making a greater effort to socialize with
acquaintances to see if friendships form. It’s not that it’s difficult
to do these things. But they require INTENTION, and I haven’t been
intentional, so I haven’t done them! Makes sense.
- Challenge: Join a group of interest (look at meetup.com, church groups, sports leagues)
- Challenge: organize more pickup basketball games to expand my social network
- Challenge: create a meetup group
- Challenge: travel long term
See
how it has a conversational and explorative tone to it? I’m not judging
myself, I’m not pressuring myself, I’m just thinking my unpolished,
raw, honest thoughts onto the page, and seeing where they lead me. It’s
almost like I’m venting to a friend, but also playing the role of the
friend, trying to be constructive and supportive. This is MUCH easier to
do on paper than in your head.
When
you do this, it should naturally lead you to challenges that could
improve your situation. As for the challenges — this is important — they
may or may not be the solution, but they are a START. And I wouldn’t
say that I have to do them, either. I’m stating something I want to
improve and saying, “Hey self, if you want to improve your life, now you
know exactly where to begin.”
Starting
is everything! Even if the challenges themselves aren’t THE solution,
they will teach me a lot and likely lead to a solution down the road.
Having
the challenges on paper makes them much harder to ignore, doesn’t it?
They’re right there, looking at you. And a final note is that the
challenges need not be intimidating! Make them mini! Another possible
challenge for this example is to simply say “hi” to at least one
stranger per day. That’s pretty easy, and who knows what might come of
it? It could lead to meeting new people, developing conversation skills,
boosting confidence, or becoming more outgoing.
When it doubt, write it down!
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