Be Selfish, For Others
Build It & Let It Break
Selfishness
is not the enemy we make it out to be, more of a misinterpreted /
misapplied concept that we just projected upon the world from a lifetime
of romantic stories about the hero putting others first. Truth be told,
if you truly are going to emphasis the greater good, serve others to
your full potential and really live that life you need to put yourself
first, for them.
The
creators, thinkers and artisans of the world are selfish, in their
obsessive focus one creating original work for or from no purpose but
their own, incredible gifts to the world. Nature and evolution are
fundamentally selfish, survival of the fittest and complete disregard
for the persistence of species.
But what does it really mean to be selfish?
It
means that you care. You care so much about what your doing, creating
and shaping that you couldn’t bare to see yourself operate from anything
less than an optimal capacity.
It
means that your first priority is your energy and well-being, as an
exponential multiplier of effects to others; that you consider your
mind, body and soul as a distribution system for good, as a platform of
positive energy production to create, inspire and impact for good. And
that you live this every day honestly and authentically with a sense of
virtue. Selfishness is INTENSE!
If
you intend to do that, to follow through to your fullest potential, you
need to operate from an optimal state, to best give all you have to
offer. If you’re tired, undernourished and inactive you’re doing
everyone a disservice by limiting your potential, presence, engagement
and energy.
It’s
great to feel busy, to feel needed, to get things done but that’s not a
long term strategy, you’re going to burn out or be operating in less
than optimal state and missing out on opportunity. You need regular
sleep, recovery, alone time, nutrition, exercise, social contact and to
put yourself and your well-being first in all these areas if you are to
live up to our potential to help, serve and develop your gifts.
Serve yourself, so you can serve others.
Let It Break
Many
a word hath been studied and spread emphasizing the utter failures and
borderline uselessness of “goals” when compared the design and
implementation of systems.
Goals
are positions. Comfortable images we’ve created of future and past. We
get so attached to these never-ending dreams of tomorrow, of what could
be and what could have been. Goals drive and support our lust and
seemingly obsessive cumplusion to collect, consume and feel emotional
entitled to a sense of ownership. But I must digress…
Systems
form habits, impact behavior, require continuous monitoring and active
engagement. They deliver results and lead to outcomes we might not have
previously been aware of. I’ve left some examples in the comments
section for your delight. For now, here’s a system to think about…
Let It Break.
That’s
it. Apply it to everything. Challenge integrity and purpose. Trust in
natures selective survival and the strength and robustness of what we
care about.
Curiously
experiment and question everything. Remove the protective blanket and
let your / our creations crumble as they may. Uncover it’s true
strength, integrity and limitations. To find and stretch the threshold.
Live, learn and evolve rather than just relying on luck and wishful
thinking.
Seems
a bit ridiculous. Well, how about assumptions without testing? Or
pointing at imaginary future points based on past experiences and
assuming their causality and purpose with little more than an intuitive
feeling? We can do better, for ourselves and others. By setting the
intention to design systems that not only survive but thrive when
challenged. So when we let them break, they survive and even grow.
This
is the posture of cultivating mental strength, resilience and
robustness to the limitations of our knowledge systems and cultural
constructs. Of learning to love the process and regularly expose
ourselves to forces of change. To challenge assumptions and remove /
adjust those that influence integrity.
So,
forget goals. Let it be. Let it break. Design systems for the best
things in life to not only survive but thrive; in service of ourselves
and others.
More…
Oh, you’d like some examples. Sure, what do I have to lose…
“This
year, I’m going to: lose twenty pounds, be happier, get smarter. How?
By eating healthier and exercising. By enjoying the little things more,
reading and listing to more intellectual things.”
Sure. Sounds great. But lacks anything of substance, sustainability or commitment.
Instead
of goals, think systems. “I’m only going to buy fresh produce. I’m
going to pay cash for anything with refined sugars, additives or
preservative. That means two bills and hard bills. Annoying. And
afterward, I’m going to think or write down who I feel about that 30-min
later.”
“I’m
going commit to exercise twice a week. Every time I miss, I’m going to
give a stranger five-bucks. Maybe twenty if you really want to make a
difference. And on days I don’t go, I’m going to walk 20-min or even
park a couple blocks away from work for the walk.”
“I’m
going to get 8-hours of sleep every other night, remove all screens
from my bedroom and purposely leave a book or notepad on my night stand.
I’m going to smile or laugh every time I see a mirror or walk under a
doorway. It’s ridiculous but it works.
“I’m
going talk or engage with someone every day and ask at least one
question I already know the answer to as if I didn’t, just so I can get a
better understand of how others see it.”
“I’m
going to sign up and pre-pay for a random class or course or turn my
notifications off and only answer emails at certain times of the day.
Instead of news, blogs and social networks I’m going to read one
long-form article or scholarly journal a week. Maybe even write
something meaningful or make an effort to call or engage with someone I
normally wouldn’t.”
“I’m
going to read 10 pages every morning or evening before bed. I’m going
to write four meaningful sentences or questions I’m pondering a day.”
These
are pieces of systems. These actually might work. It’s up to you and
the end of the day but making it easier and more automatic helps. And if
they don’t, you’ll understand why and can adjust, iterate and make
incremental changes in the general direction you seek to go.
Junk Thoughts
“I’d
rather be a motivated loser than a complacent winner. Losers learn,
create action plans, make decision, adjust, chase. Winners just win, so
boring.”
BEAUTY IN IGNORANCE
Suicide
is unique to human beings. No other species harms themselves. Cows,
live a perfectly still life, never a remote attempt to end life or any
noticeable suffering they desire to end… what’s wrong with the human
mind? For all our intelligence, it seems we can’t understand the beauty
in ignorance.
THOUGHTS IN THE WIND
A
thought is no different from a gust of wind or ripple in the water,
it’s there, it intensifies and it leaves. Quite fascinating more in the
behavior than of some arbitrary meaning that fits a character and story
that we’re attaching it to or reaching to attach it do.”Hearts and
thoughts they fade, fade away.”
FRONT PAGE NEWS
Front
page news exists because of the existence of a front page. There is a
space, place and need for it, that we’ve created. Just as there are
headlines because we created them, the need for them and expectation of
them. Much of what we see is an outgrowth or remanence of what we
wanted, created or had (all past tense) not what we actually seek and
desire — that space has yet to be created and that’s what we are
chasing, curious of and creating for.
FROM GARY V.
Learning
“macro-patience” means playing the long game with macro goals and
understanding that it will take decades to reach it. And along the way,
you need to be fast, fail, learn, experience as much as possible while
staying focused yet patient on your macro goals or pursuits. And really
“pursuit” is the word, not goal, goal is arbitrary, you need to fall in
the love with the process, by the results. Surrounding yourself with
things and people you love doing and being around makes everything
better and easier to achieve, because you enjoy it that much more.
THE MEANING OF LIFE
It
seems the only time we ask or desire the answer to which is when we are
ourselves feeling un-whole or nearing the end and from what I’ve
studied of those in these situations meaning itself is relative and
derived from quality of our relationships and connections to others and
our environment that we’ve amassed over our time. Thus, meaning or
purpose is to create meaning by enjoying the experience of relationships
and connectedness. Have fun, and do it with others.
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